For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Why for the love of christ is it so hard to remember their password for a week.  Many of you may be wondering what I am talking about, I work at a  help desk , and today is the first day back from a frikken 7 day break, and we are super busy, I am writing this in between taking calls, and most of them are the same frikken thing, "I need a password reset for Windows" I mean jesus christ people you can't remember 8 letters for a week, than maybe you should be working somewhere you have to remember only 6 words "Would you like fries with that?"

Tis better to love and lost than to have never loved at all
Yesterday I was greeted with some terrible news. Tabitha had gone for a job with the Washington State Department of Corrections. She didn't get the job. That is part of the terrible news. The other part is that she is more than likely moving to Florida. This is par for the course in my life. Life is starting to go the way I want it. A job that I love, a girlfriend that I love and great friends. And POOF what happens things go down the drain that quick.
Now the question is what do I do??? Do I follow my girlfriend to a place that I have never been, don't know if I will like or a place where i don't know what the job opportunities are??? Or do I stay here with the great job, great friends and be single again drolly for another 12yrs.

Since it has been about a year since I last updated this thing, there has been a lot of changes that have occured in my life. Well to begin with one of the least changes though a notable one is that I still work at Best Buy. Even though I don't work at the Geek Squad anymore, I now sell computers. For the most part I like it, however there are some things that really irratate me. One of them is a lot of the customers. I mean some of them just don't understand english and expect me to translate for them. I mean when I was in the military, even though I was in a country for a couple of months, I at least tried to learn the language that was the common language. I might not of been able to speak the language, but I gave it a damn good try.

 

Another thing that has opened up for me happened in Febuary. I finally decided that working at Best Buy was not going to pay all my bills and have money left over for me to actually have fun with. Soooo, I decided that I should start looking for a job. Well, I went to the career center at school and asked them to see what they could find for me. Well, the sent me this one link to a place and I sent my resume out. And within 6hrs, I had a job interview about a month later. So, went to the interview, and barely walked in, and walked out with a brand new job, 8-5 M-F type of job, great pay, and benefits and the like. Sooo, and what do you expect something like that happens, I get laid off from it. I went through the seven stages of grief about this job. So it was back to living hand to mouth so I promptly started sending my resume's out to places. For the most part I got no thank you, or your not just what we need at this moment. Soooo, I had the career centers at school hook me up with a temp agency. So I went through there, and I was considered for a Help Desk position at Boeing, but that got pushed back a couple of months. Sooo, WTF am I supposed to do. A couple of days later something comes down the pipe to work at Boeing, but its a printer refresh job. While I really didn't want to do it, I knew I needed the money and I took it. Well my boss for the most part loved me. Though a couple of months later, I found out I was going to be laid off. Sooo, I went to the recruiter that got me started and said I need a new job, so, I know work at the Boeing Enterprise helpdesk (well at least I am in training for it).

And on a better note, something much unexpected has happened to me.  After my last post, I had talked to a few guys and most notably gone on a few dates, with some guys, some guys just didn't seem to be what I were looking for.  So, after a while, I just kind of gave up and didn't do anything.  however, I met one guy on TSGirlfriend, who I went on a couple of dates with and I thought I was going to possibly think about dating however life was about to throw me a twist that I never thought it would take.

Well, a couple of yrs ago, I heard a couple of posts from a girl on here.  She is cute, local, and best of all; she is someone who I would like to meet.  So any who, I find out that she moved away from the local area, so I didn't think about it.  So I am in TSG and I start talking to my friend, Marc, and he invites me to a BBQ.  Well there was this guy that I was going to go out with at the party.  So I go to the party, and lo and behold who is there, the girl that I have not only been thinking about, and who talked to on live journal a couple of times.  Sooo, any who, she is trying to hook up with this one girl, and honestly if she hadn't been trying to hook up with her I woulda been trying to hook up with her.  So this guy started being a total idiot, and we left and I dropped him off so he could go home. So he and I went on a date the next week where he could meet my roomies.  Date went well and all went home.  So another week went by, and Saturday I had nothing planned so, Marc asked me if I was interested in a girls night out with his wife, and the girl I met at the BBQ (who's name BTW is Tabitha).  Soooo, I went out, and met with the girls well, I met Tabitha and OMG, for the first time in my life, I went home to some one else and had great sex.  So, as I was leaving I got her phone number. So I called her the next day.  And we decided to meet again the next weekend.  And I got totally lost when going to her house, but I got there.  And we spent almost 2hours just kissing and cuddling.  So we went to dinner were we just talked and enjoyed each others company.  So all the while I was waiting to see what would happen with the guy.  While I was thinking about which way I was going to go with a girl friend or a boyfriend.  I thought about what I would feel like with both and decided that I would be much better with a girl friend than with a boyfriend.  So as of July 29th, I have had a girlfriend, who I have already told that I love her, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found her and how much I enjoy her company.
Well that is all that has happened in a nutshell, there will be more updates as things happen.

They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that's why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers.
David Assael
Yesterday was a day that was full of suprises when I went to go check on something for student finance, I found out I could graduate in 6 months or so, that is if I totally bust my ass to get out of there. I am thinkng that I will buts my ass, but not to the point where it causes me stress. But that wasn't what made my day go down. I found out that the VA had been slow on processing something so now I am going to have to pay them back next month. Oh joy, oh Joy. And than to top that all off, I talked to my mom yesterday, what pissed me off was the fact that she didn't want to come out and see me graduate, thats not what pissed me off. What pissed me off was that she said that I was persistant, just the very fact that she didn't want to know her daughter is what pissed me off. Oh well, I don't know which is worse being disowned, or being mistreated

If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.
Plato
Good news for a change. I found out a couple of weeks ago that I am moving to the Geek Squad at work. That makes it official, I am a Geekette. I know that this will be a major step on my career path progression.

Even though I found out that I am going to Geek Squad, this happens on a bittersweet moment. For some strange reason I don't think that my mom is actually starting to me any more. The last time that I talked to her was I think in June or so. so that kind of takes away from the good news.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."-Albert Einstein

Luckily I passed on all my classes last semester. Granted it was only a B,C,D respectivaly, sorta like my drive letters :P, I was lucky to pass the one that I got a D in. I barely know what the hell I was doing in that class, luckily, the girls that I was working with knew what the hell they were doing for the most part. And in the other classes, I was pretty proud, I mean I know I should have done better especially in my scripting class but hey I passed.
Work is going a little bit more difficult than I thought. I mean I am still one of the best employees that they have (and I have the proof to show it through my last review) but my boss says that he is disappointed in me. I was like WTF is this about. I put in for a job for a different job but didn't get it. Maybe it was for the best that I didn't get it. It was basically doing paperwork. Now the boss that interviewed, also pissed me off the other day. He said something in front of me to one of my coworkers, but lets just say that in my 8yrs of being in the military, I never heard anything like that which I heard.
On a more personal note, the person that I was interested in well, lets just say, that ship has sailed. Him and his friend went on a trip a few weeks ago. And when they got back, his schedule had changed. Well, that part didn't bother me, but what does bother me is that I even sent him an email asking if he would like a cup of coffee or something like that. He didn't even email me back. That is what bothers me. Now what worries me is that if he were to come back, would I become a blathering idiot

Well, the glass walls are slowly coming down at work. I talked to my boss about what happened, and a couple of other things, but time will only tell if those talks actually work. The only thing that bothers me, is that the guys that I could possibly work with, could possibly not want me there, because I am a female. I found that out last night, I was helping a customer last night, and this guy said to me that some one else should take over the sale. I was fucking hot about that. he said something to me a few days ago that really irked me as well, but it wasn't directed against me, it was directed against someone as well. The good thing is that I am getting discriminated against because I am a woman, not because I am a TS.
On a more personal note, it looks like our heroine might have found a BF. There is this guy that I see almost every week on the show that I am part of. When I first saw him, I was like WOW, he is cute. But as I got to know him, I really started to like him. He is cute, funny, smart, and muscular(ok, give me a sec to clean up the drool here). So any who, there was this segment that the producers asked me to do because of the fact that I am a TS, well, after that, it was a whole different ball of wax. He started lighting my cigarettes. I know that might not be a big thing, but to me it is. So, I talked to his friend (yes I know it was high schoolish) but apparently, he likes me, but he has to get over three hangups. But, his friend is going to talk to him about that, and hopefully, soon, I should have some one I can call a boyfriend.

Ever get the feeling that you have lived through this before. Well, I know I did today. I was at work, and this guy walks up to me. I mean, this guy while he was a new hire knew exactly what to do. I didn't think anything of it until I found out where he was working. This guy took the full time slot that I have been drooling over for the past 6months or so. That really pissed me off. But I wasn't really pissed off until I walked back and saw the list of things that I was supposed to do even though I was working a totally opposite job. That actually pissed me off so bad that I started crying at the desk. I than found out than who my real friends were at this place. I even had one guy hug me before I left. He must have seen how pissed I was.
What is it about me that causes this. I can understand when I was in the military because none of the head honchos thought I was "career"material, but for the life of me I can't figure out why this is happening at Best Buy. The only thing that I can figure out is that while its not the glass ceiling, its more like the glass walls.

After I had been working at Best Buy for a little bit, I was promised a job either in computers, or the Geek Squad. Now that it is after Christmas, I still haven't been moved to the Geek Squad. While I don't mind that and I totally understand the fact that the job wasn't guaranteed, but what does piss me off, is that some one was hired who is some ones friend. That is what really pisses me off about the whole thing. It is beginning to remind me of the Chair Farce somewhat, because it seems that the same things are starting again all over, however this time I can sit down and talk it out.
On another note, while I only got a C on the first quiz of this class that I am taking, it kinda takes the pressure off of me somewhat because I actually know what I am doing now.

I just happened to walk outside today to have a cigarette, and as I walked out, I saw something I have never seen, and probably will never see again. I quickly ran in to get my roommates, and I totally forgot about my camera, and I wend in and got it. I had to take pictures of this

In my last post, I talked about my mother calling my by my last old name, I decided that I wasn't going to call her or send her an email. But I did send her an email about my Best Buy employee discount and thats the last time I have had any communication with them. Why is it that my parents could accept me for being gay, but not for this???
Also, I was at work the other day and I just finished taking out a television and I was back to the front, and I was talking to some guy just doing talking casually to the customer and I turned to look at him, and barely had time to stop staring at my ass. I didn't think anything of it, but than a few minutes later, I was helping someone in the computer mouse section, and I see this guy and I start helping him. Well a couple seconds later, and I look up, and this guy is like staring at my chest. I was almost like, take a picture it will last longer.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
Sophocles
It has been a long time since I updated this thing so many things have happened in my life.
To begin with, I have reunited with my parents. This reunion is bittersweet at best. While they admit that they love me, they refuse to accept me. In fact my mom even called me by my old name. That really pissed me off. I can understand if they just knew about it. But they didn't. I mean come on they have known about me since March of this last year or when we started talking again in December. I don't know what to do. Do I stick to my guns and say don't talk to me until you can realize that I am not that person any more. Or do I fall on my knees in forgiveness and take what they give me, almost like when I was 17?
Along side with my parents talking to me I have had some other news going on in my life. I was fired from my job at DeVry. Am I pissed about getting fired, I was. As time goes by I have come to say screw it. The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that some one I know wasn't fired for not showing up for work (he didn't even call in) and they gave him a raise!!! WTF is up with that. I had so many students that were rallying to my defense (how many of them would have shown up is another question) that I should have had my job back. But oh well that is water under the bridge
At school, since I started my transition there and all that good stuff while I was in the military, I became known as the he/she, or just the freak also. While this doesn't surprise me, in fact what did surprise me today was that I was walking out to have a cigarette, and I saw the paper there that I wanted to read the comics while I was walking. So, I picked up the paper and started reading. All of a sudden I hear this voice behind me say "you must be a mother". I look around and say with a smile, nope not a mother just good at walking and reading at the same time. So he says, well the only people that I know can do that is mom's. So I talk to him a little bit longer. Went outside, had my cigarette, any who as I was walking back in, I opened the door, and I see this guy out of the corner of my eye, hold the door open for him, and say "see eyes in the back of my head" we start talking I don't know if he was hitting on me or what. But to me, it seemed like he was flirting with me. now I could be wrong since I really haven't been flirted with since my transition, but what really made it feel special to me, is that he didn't even thing that I am a TS, he just knew that I am a woman.
On a different note, I was just look at the opinion on Yahoo, and something caught my eye. Apparently the US Army is relaxing the standards on tattoos. While this may not seem all that important, what makes me angry is that it relaxes the standards on tattoo's but isn't willing to allow GLBT people to enlist.
Also I recently moved in with some friends. And I love living here so much it isn't funny. I mean, we all get along like we had been living to gether all our lives

Yesterday was Sept. 11th. Now I am not one of these people who remember it for what it was or what happened. What I remember was the aftermath. After the Towers fell, and the fire trucks came to the Pentagon, all american citizens came Americans. However, the LGBT community was still not thought of. I remember that all through out my military service, no matter how much I miss it, I was still considered crap because I didn't pretend who I was. Why should I? Am I not an American citizen. Didn't I volunteer for TDY to keep someone who was married (whole different discussion) home and safe for their loved ones? Didn't I earn all the good conduct awards that I was proud to wear? Didn't I suffer like all the "normal people" away from my friends when I was sent over seas? Why should I be told, your good enough to build the weapons that we will use to fight these people, but your not good enough to fight these people? As we remember what happened that terrible day I ask only one thing. The one thing that I ask, is stop discriminating against a person because of who they love or who they are. I am half way thinking about writing my representative in our nations capitol and asking them to support the bill known as the Military Readiness Enhancement Act

I was at work last night, and I was talking to one of the other girls there, and we got to talking about sharks for some strange reason. And than this person walks by, and says "he, She, that person" all the while the girl was standing just a couple feet away from me. but any who, as he said that, I looked up from what I was doing and just shot daggers out of my eyes. what pissed me off, this person has known me for over 2months now.
So apparently the girl that was standing next to me, said something to the bosses and said something to him about it and gave him some "sensitivity training". What made me feel so special was that every one stood up for me. In fact one person said that if it happens again, I should should file a harrasment complaint about him.
And on another note, I took my midterm for my Statistics class today. even though I had some of the answers while taking the test, I didn't have all the answers. I still passed with a B. The best part about that is that is the highest score that I have ever had on any of my math tests. The good news is that I had planned on passing the courst with a C, I might even be able to pass this class with a B. Wouldn't that be nice to get a half way decent GPA this semester. But the really good thing is that all my teachers that I have had in previous semesters all say that there is a new bounce to my step this semester

I was watching TV and I turned on to MTV hits and the new song from Nickelback was on the tv. And I got to thinking, my biggest wish is that I had more pics of my family. Even though I have the people that I consider my family right next to me, I still miss my family. The funny thing is I was always wondering if something should have happened to them, I was wondering if I could have cried at the funeral. I found out that I could have. Why didn't I keep a couple more pictures of them.

I was at work today, and they had a quartely meeting there. Well, I had to go to it first one I have been to in a whle but any who, as we were finishing up they did like the "best and the brightest" of the new employees. And I was one of the winners, even though it was only a 20 dollar gift card, it made me feel really good. Not only am I working for a place that actually rewards its employees. I mean the Chair Farce rewarded us with days off, and yeah those were nice, but still there is something more rewarding with money or its equivalent.

I got to thinking about something on my way home. I am actually thinking about sitting down and writing a book. Whats the worse a publisher can say, but no???

Normally I wouldn't post anything like this but even though I had a crappy day, I got hom and I felt something I haven't felt in a while. Why I haven't felt this in a while I have no idea. But what I felt was this intense craving for something more than a touch. What I needed was to have sex until the morning's light. Even though I don't think it would have lasted that long I think my point has gotten across. I like every other hetero girl in this planet, we need a little something something.

When i was at work, I was going to pick on one of my coworkers and he said that he would even date a smoker, nor would he even go one a date with one. He knew I smoked, so why now all of a sudden???

I was at work today, and one of the admissions people came by and said "he" that wasn't so bad, cause I talked to the person about it. But that wasn't the worst part. After I get off at Devry, I go to best buy. Well within 30 min of being there this coworker comes up and says "hello sir er ma'am". Boy was I quick to correct him, or at least to glare at him. And than later tonight, I was working in the back and my boss comes up and says "what's up sir errrr ma'am" . Before the I was out of sir, I just glared at him. he apologized profusly. I shouldn't say I let him off the hook, but I told him if it was a slip, it was alright. Why is it this week has been so bad about that. I mean with my teacher calling me by my old name, now this at work???

But the best thing is I was working at Best Buy, and I had to covered someone elses lunch break, and I passed by this girl, and I looked, and almost immediatly I thought something was up, but I didn't say anything. What really clenched it was when she was walking out the door and she said something to the other woman and as soon as she opened her mouth, and I heard her say something, and as soon as she did, I pegged her. But what is really amazing is that she didn't even clock me. Which kinda makes up for the other things

I was at work today, and my boss comes up to me and tells me to get my resume ready. I look at him, and he tells me that he is prolly moving laterlly into the store, and they are going to be moving me into a full time position. I was flabbergasted, I mean I have been with the company for only two months, and they are moving me up. What I think flabbergasted me the most was that when I was in the Chair Force, they wanted nothing to do with me, as far as in a managerial or in an administrative position. So apparently, I have BSd my way into the companies hierachy, or I kept my work ethic that won me firewall 5's in the military and they are using me wisely.

Today's been an interesting day, a day of of ups and downs. Well first of all, I was talking to my teacher, and she said she is proud of me because of the fact that I am dedicated, wrong choice of words I guess but I think my idea gets across. So than I went to my next class, and my teacher who I have had for 3 semesters, called me by my old name. Will I forever be lonely???